I could be opening floodgates of opinions here but I always question…are things really mapped out for us? Or is life like the film ‘Sliding Doors’ where one decision can change the rest of your life? Destiny and fate are two topics that are hard to grasp and understand and I go back and forth on this a lot. Sometimes I cannot understand why something really good or deeply saddening has happened. Does there always have to be balance with everything? My mum has always said “Trust the timing of your life”.
Destiny or not, we all try to make or we think we are making our paths through life. Whether you leave it up to hands of “God” or go searching for it, it all inevitably leads onto the same road. “Right place right time”, people may say, however I strongly believe things happen for a reason and can only speak from my own experiences. Not all things are great, but there is an ultimate reason why an event takes place. For example, you can fail an exam multiple times and not find a job you like or alternatively in my aunts case meeting the love of her life (again) at a much later stage in life (they last met in high school) and ended up getting married at 50.
One of the most random stories for me is meeting my husband. Whether fate brought us together or whether we just made it happen is something we could debate for hours. I met my husband at a friends wedding in India December 2008. He had travelled from New York and I had travelled from London. We had never met before, however noticed one another at some of the wedding events. We randomly spoke at the wedding and then we made our way back to our respective homes. Facebook was quite new then, but I remember we added each other and that was the end of that. We hardly spoke over the next 3-4 years but I sometimes checked on how he was doing in life.
In 2009, I visited New York with my sister. We actually got in touch with my husband and asked if he wanted to meet for drinks. He had said yes and then cancelled on the actual day. Back then, we were using emails to communicate, so it was a waiting game. We never met that time and so we both continued on with our lives.
In the following years, we did have 1-2 small conversations on Facebook. We were both saying how it annoying it was that everyone was getting married. I then said “but our time will come”. Not meaning anything towards us of course! And ironically, our time did come just a couple years later.
I remember being down at the end of 2011 when I wasn’t sure if i was ever going to find my soul mate and my sister said, “You are going to find a great guy and I bet he is right under your nose”. Yeah right!! But as always life has funny ways of proving us wrong because about a month later, I got a message on Facebook from my husband asking me if I would like to meet for dinner in London as he was going to be visiting from New York. At first, I thought it was a little strange and didn’t even think we would meet.
January 2012 came round and he followed up with a message saying, “Hey I am in London now are you free on Wednesday”? I had no idea where he was and to be honest would not have been bothered to meet him if he was anywhere too far from me. I replied and asked him where he was and he said “in this small strange town called Ruislip”. Believe or not my parent’s house is actually in Ruislip. What were the odds of that? He could have been anywhere in London but his cousins lived in Ruislip, literally, five minutes down the road from me. At that point, I had nothing to lose, and thought I might as well meet this guy for a date… and of course the rest is history and here we are today.
We were engaged in 8 months of meeting and married the following year. The funny thing is, when we looked back at the wedding pictures from 2008, we found one group photo of all the friends and cousins standing together and guess who was in the middle? My husband and I were standing next to each other (dark pink sari and white and blue Indian suit) completely oblivious to the fact; we would be married and settled in New York 5 years later. Was that really fate that bought us together?
Was he always saved for me? What if I hadn’t met him again in 2012 evening? What if we never added each other on Facebook after the wedding in 2008? Regardless of the fact we lived in different countries, some how destiny bought us together. I guess it was always written in our paths that we would meet each other again and now I understand that our first meeting was not the right time for us, but we managed to meet again years later and fall in love.
Life has funny ways of working out and taking us wherever our destiny lies. Even when something bad happens, or things are not meant to be I guess we can let ourselves of the hook. We do have control over all our decisions or situations that occur in life. I had no intentions to ever live in another country, let alone get married to someone from the US. However, you just never know when you are going to meet the right person, or find that amazing house or job or the next big thing that is going to happen next in life. Whatever happens now, today, tomorrow or the day after is all part of our written life cycle. Good things await and whether you are going to win the lottery, find the partner of your dreams, have 5 children, or move to another country is a journey you just have to take.